Posted on Leave a comment

The All New Liverpool Daily Post: mystery arsonist found hiding on allotment

The search into the cause of the mysterious fires around South Liverpool Sports Centres was finally brought to a halt tonight when a middle aged balding Caucasian man wearing nothing but a Fred Perry singlet and a John McEnroe head band was found in an allotment shed sat on a makeshift throne of wooden tennis rackets.

Identifying himself only as Lord Andrew John Paul George Andrew Murray of Kirkintilloch (a small town in East Dunbartonshire, Scotland – editors’ note) police stated that the man denied any knowledge of the recent arson attacks in the neighborhood but could not account for the 79 plastic petrol containers which lined the shed’s walls and the oxy-acetylene torch which lay idle on the floor.

Mr. Murray – whose real identity is still subject to confirmation – is now helping police with their enquiries and is expected to appear on court in Melbourne for the Australian Open early next month and in court in Liverpool early next week to face charges.

Liverpool Social Services and the Lawn Tennis Association have been informed of the man’s arrest.

For full coverage of this extraordinary news story just click here.

What are your feelings about Ageing Tennis Players? Otterspool Promenade? Men in Fred Perry Singlets on ramshackle pyrotechnic rafts floating down the River Mersey?

You too can have your say about this story!  Here’s what our readers are saying:

A pataphysical collection of absurdities (David Llewellyn, Director, Tennis Player, Genius)

I thought it was real for about being selected for Wimbledon, literally through to the day before the semi-finals… I was coming into work saying Nick got selected, I can’t wait to read the next chapter. I loved it!  total funny journey.  (Jo McBean, Creative Triangle)

Nick Owen your book’s awesome (Rez Kabir, Artistic Director at Tamarind Theatre Co Ltd and Executive Producer at Mukul And Ghetto Tigers)

A rollicking good read that had me laughing out loud. It had me entertaining the idea of joining our local tennis club, and I’m rubbish at tennis (The Shed)

This is a riotous, rolling, rollicking read in the picaresque tradition. Eat your hearts out Henry Fielding and Herman Melville. As the hero hurtles through his ruthless pursuit of fame and glory, you too will probably receive an upgrade as you are laughing so much in your plane or train seat. Witty ( and wise) this is a cracking read. First in a series. (Liz Fincham, author)

I am at the ageing tennis player and this book hits the nail on the head with an insight and humour that made me laugh out loud. Great observation, no holds barred honesty through the arena of tennis that explores between our imagination and the actuality. (Mike Stubbs, artist, curator, consultant)

Posted on Leave a comment

The All New Liverpool Daily Post est arrivé! Strange sightings at Otterspool Promenade trigger public health concerns.

The early morning promenaders of Otterspool Promenade in Aigburth, Liverpool, were treated to a grisly sight on their first morning stroll after the festive season: a make shift funeral pyre floating down the River Mersey.

In scenes reminiscent of gatherings on the Ganges, a small flaming raft was pulled ashore by coast-guards  at about 6am on Sunday 2 January in the vicinity of Riversdale Campus of Liverpool City College. Close to the site of Liverpool’s International Tennis Tournament in 2021, the area was immediately cordoned off by police and a full investigation launched.

Police were unable to confirm whether or not there were any fatalities but described the funeral pyre as consisting of a collection of second-hand burning tennis rackets, a tennis court net and dozens of used tennis balls, the makes of which are still to be confirmed.

Police also confirmed that local tennis clubs were assisting them with their enquiries.

For minute by minute coverage of this breaking news story just click here.

Posted on Leave a comment

Book your tickets for the launches of Confessions of an Ageing Tennis Player here!

After several years of  sweating away over a feverish laptop, I’m writing to invite you to  the launch of my book, Confessions of an Ageing Tennis Player next month.

The launches will take place at:

Park Tennis Club on Saturday 14 August from 6pm  in Nottingham and

The Fly in the Loaf, Hardman Street in Liverpool on Friday 20 August from 3pm in Liverpool.

Details of the book are here.

The launches will have some readings, food and drinks – and I’d be delighted if you can join us.

 If you are able to come along, please book your tickets below confirm and whether or not you will be bringing any guests with you so that we can make sure there’s enough refreshments to go round.

Posted on Leave a comment

Launching at a Tennis Club or Pub near you…

If you live near Nottingham or Liverpool that is.

We will be formally launching the publication of the new, improved and illustrated Confessions of an Ageing Tennis Player on Saturday 14 August at 6pm at the Park Tennis Club in Nottingham; and Friday 20 August from 3pm at the Fly in the Loaf, Hardman Street, Liverpool

The launches will have some readings, food and drinks – and with any luck enjoying the tennis of those afternoons.

If you are able to join us, please just drop me an email to confirm where you would like to attend, and how many tickets you would like so that we can make sure there’s enough refreshments to go round.

More information about the book here.