An Open Letter to Adam Ramsay-Peaty: we feel for you, Adam, we really do.

“Hardly a day goes by without someone telling us off about our bodies: they’re too big, too small, in the wrong place at the wrong time, or they just don’t behave in the way we want them to.”

The recent news of Adam Ramsay-Peaty’s frustrations about his performances at the Commonwealth Games is something us ageing swimmers are only too familiar with. One minute you’re cruising up the lanes, easily outdoing last week’s personal best of 4’33” per 100 metres; the next you’re struggling to find where the showers and dare not bend down to pick up your shampoo just in case you never straighten up again.

Nevermind Adam- you’re following in the best tradition of all us ageing swimmers, namely (and whisper it softly), you’re a bit older than you were yesterday. Your body isn’t quite what it used to be and once, where we witnessed a 25 year old water Ferrari in his prime, we now… well, we now look away discreetly.

Confessions of the Ageing Swimmers is probably the right book for you right now, Adam. It’s a book about bodies in public, about work done under supervision, about rules that are enforced unevenly and about the things people say when they believe no one is listening.

Set in a municipal swimming pool in Nottingham, the novel follows Leo, an eighteen-year-old trainee lifeguard on a six-month probationary contract, trying to survive the last weeks of insecure employment while navigating exhaustion, authority, boredom, desire and moral uncertainty. You may have come across Leo in your travels around the world as you leap, salmon-like, from one pool to another; he, and many like him, has certainly come across you and your compadres, and has heard many tales of tails and more besides. For Leo, the swimming pool becomes a modern confessional: a place where bodies are exposed, routines repeated, and private thoughts leak into public space.

Leo works at the Day One Municipal Leisure Centre, whose slogan promises “A Better You. A Better Family. A Better Britain.” When he discovers a peephole between changing cubicles, and begins to respond, inadvertently, as a kind of secular priest, the novel drifts into darker, stranger territory. By the final chapters, Confessions of the Ageing Swimmers becomes a meditation on confession itself: who is allowed to absolve, who must listen, and what forgiveness looks like when no authority truly deserves it.

Adam, we think you’ll love it – and hopefully it will reassure you as your pace slackens and you look beyond the horizons of the pool, the cubicles and the municipal car park.

Discovering Absurd Moments in Travel: Racing Trains

Racing Trains is the first in a series of travelogues which celebrate the foolishness of travel in all its outrageous forms and revels in travel’s unlikely catalytic effect. This book of micro-stories explores the surprising and absurd moments of travel I’ve experienced in my time travelling to, around and from Nottingham by bus, train and plane.  No boat stories yet, but it will just be a matter of time.

This week, I’m serialising the lead story, Racing Trains, to coincide with an exciting announcement later this week.  Want to know more? Just read on and keep your eyes open…

Huge thanks as ever to Paul Warren for his generosity and illustrations.

Racing Trains

Have you seen him? Have you seen the Racing Man?

Looking out of the train window a lone figure chases over brambles, roots and concrete inertia alongside the rail track but the train eventually outpaces him stride for stride. But still he races, hopping, bounding, stumbling, throwing himself forward, reaching out to grab the doors, the woodwork or something else, invisible to us commuters in the train but visible to himself, the man who races trains.He races every morning, never from a standing start, but he’s always there as we take the wide curve out to East Midlands Parkway, racing long the path next to the lake, coursing through the water, sometimes running along its surface, always catching up, sometimes in line with us seated commuters, sometimes if we slow down on that arc, getting ahead of us. We’re too far away to see the look on his face but you’d be sure he is staring in delight as he races by us, water splashing, trails leaving ripples marking where he’s been.

And when I say ‘racing’ I mean racing: not ambling, jogging or sprinting. I mean really racing at full pelt. On a good stretch racing man keeps up with the train and must be doing at least 90mph. This is no Usain Bolt at work. Racing Man is a true one off, a force of nature that no-one I’ve met can yet explain. You can’t be sure of his age; the Lycra gives nothing away and his pace, likewise. His frame is slight but muscular and toned. But the track suit hides everything else. Sometimes he waves at us as we speed away but he doesn’t slow down but just banks off to the left, racing towards the distant woods.

The Racing Man running against the trains. Who else sees him? I’m never sure because no-one comments on him, no-one smiles at me in recognition when I look back to the carriage.This morning though was different. I looked away from the Racing Man and saw a woman look at me at the same time. We smiled briefly at each other but then both looked back outside. Looking for the Racing Man disappearing into the woods. Well, I was. I’m not sure what she was looking at. The next moment we’re into a railway tunnel and the Racing Man will not be seen until tomorrow.

 

Book your tickets for the launches of Confessions of an Ageing Tennis Player here!

After several years of  sweating away over a feverish laptop, I’m writing to invite you to  the launch of my book, Confessions of an Ageing Tennis Player next month.

The launches will take place at:

Park Tennis Club on Saturday 14 August from 6pm  in Nottingham and

The Fly in the Loaf, Hardman Street in Liverpool on Friday 20 August from 3pm in Liverpool.

Details of the book are here.

The launches will have some readings, food and drinks – and I’d be delighted if you can join us.

 If you are able to come along, please book your tickets below confirm and whether or not you will be bringing any guests with you so that we can make sure there’s enough refreshments to go round.

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Launching at a Tennis Club or Pub near you…

If you live near Nottingham or Liverpool that is.

We will be formally launching the publication of the new, improved and illustrated Confessions of an Ageing Tennis Player on Saturday 14 August at 6pm at the Park Tennis Club in Nottingham; and Friday 20 August from 3pm at the Fly in the Loaf, Hardman Street, Liverpool

The launches will have some readings, food and drinks – and with any luck enjoying the tennis of those afternoons.

If you are able to join us, please just drop me an email to confirm where you would like to attend, and how many tickets you would like so that we can make sure there’s enough refreshments to go round.

More information about the book here.