Julian writes: the Tennis Player Quartet Podcast. Episode 4: The Fantastic Confabulations of an Ageing Tennis Player

Right. Yes. The Fantastic Confabulations of an Ageing Tennis Player. The fourth volume. The “finale”. The “capstone”. The one where — and I think we can all agree on this — everything finally becomes… considerably more conceptual.

Now, I’ll be honest: I’ve always felt the quartet operates less as four books and more as an ongoing atmospheric event. A sort of… tennis-adjacent weather system. There’s narrative, of course, but it’s mainly pressuremovementsudden fog, and occasionally a goat.

Anyway. Hear the podcast. Here it is. See what I did there?

(Produced by the one-and-only Julian PS with the trusty support of Mork and Mindy down in the Podcast basement. Thanks guys! You’ve been… what can I say? Immense.)

Anyway. Just in case you can’t be dealing with a podcast, here’s the story as I see it.

The early books: a man, a racket, and… an energy

So in ConfessionsCourting Lives, and The Norman Conquests, Andy is, broadly speaking, a tennis player (except he isn’t – except he is – except he’s “Lord Andrew Murray” – except he’s in trouble – except none of this is confirmed.) But what is clear is that Andy narrates everything with the swagger of a man giving a victory speech while physically losing.

He tells you he’s in command. He tells you he’s adored. He tells you it’s all going brilliantly. And the reader is expected to do the decent thing and nod politely while the walls fall in. There’s also a coach (possibly a bird), a woman who is (or isn’t) Serena Williams, and a general atmosphere of “I won that match spiritually.”

Book Four: screenplay, drones, and what I can only describe as “admin”

Then we arrive at Volume Four, which makes a bold artistic choice: it switches into screenplay format, which I assume is because Andy has finally gone professional and Netflix are now involved. That’s certainly the vibe. Suddenly there are cameras. Drones. “Monitoring.” People talking as though Andy is both a person and a piece of equipment. It’s all very modern and, frankly, quite unsettling, but in a premium way. And the important thing is: Andy is no longer narrating. Now, I’m told this is because the book is exploring “external surveillance” and “dispossession” and “care regimes” and so on. Possibly. Or possibly Andy has simply delegated the narration, as champions often do.

The “twelve years” thing (apparently significant)

There’s also an absolutely classic moment where Andy believes he’s been in a hospice for a weekend, after a minor knee injury — which sounds reasonable enough, we’ve all iced a joint and lost a fortnight – except it turns out it’s been twelve years. Twelve. Now, do I think the book is being literal here? Hard to say. This could be:

  1. a comment on memory,
  2. a comment on time,
  3. Brexit,
  4. metaphor,
  5. a typo that nobody caught in proofing,
  6. all of the above.

But the key takeaway is that Andy has missed major global events, which is either tragic or enviable, depending on your views on morning news.

Sedation: narrative editing, but with syringes

Andy’s “confabulations” (a word the book uses a lot, presumably because “lies” felt too on-the-nose) are repeatedly interrupted by Mrs Carter, who administers sedation. Now, one might interpret this as the system silencing him – his story being chemically curtailed – a bleak commentary on control and autonomy. Or, equally, one might interpret it as: Andy is simply too powerful as a narrator, and the staff have to keep him under a certain decibel level for the other residents. It’s difficult to be sure.

The mother reveal — which I confess I did not see coming, mainly because I wasn’t looking

And then — the twist — Mrs Carter is revealed to be Andy’s mother. This obviously reframes everything, and I think it’s a brave move by the author to introduce a major character relationship in book four, when the reader has already invested three volumes in not fully understanding anyone’s identity. She speaks with resentment. She speaks as though Andy is a burden. There are references to “payback” and sacrifice and so on. It’s all very human. Or, again: it could be a symbolic device representing England.

The ending: Raducanu, waived bar bills, and… closure? maybe?

Finally, Andy is greeted by young tennis stars (including Emma Raducanu), and he’s told his subs and bar bills are waived. Now this is clearly either:

  • a triumphant return,
  • a final hallucination,
  • a metaphorical absolution,
  • a fantasy sequence,
  • a customer service gesture,
  • or simply the author being kind at the end.

Personally, I read it as the universe finally recognising his greatness. Because that’s what literature does: it rewards belief.

In conclusion (and I do mean that, because I have a meeting)

So yes — the final volume “doesn’t abandon him” but “no longer belongs to him”, which I interpret to mean the narrative has matured beyond Andy and is now operating at a higher organisational level. A bit like NOP, frankly. Andy begins as the author of his own myth. He ends as a man being documented. And the quartet as a whole is a powerful reminder that tennis is rarely about tennis. It’s about identity. And paperwork. And occasionally drones.

(Can I go home now? Please? Pretty please?)

Confessions of an Ageing Tennis Player: I AM Andy Murray and have beaten Carlos Alcaraz at this year’s Wimbledon Championship (albeit vicariously).

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The crowds gather early to get the best seating.

Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you all. I can’t believe that this afternoon has ended in such a thrilling style, with so many decisive moments, nerve tingling decisions, and life changing choices.

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Novak Djokovic thinking he’s got this one sorted.

Novi was an incredible opponent this afternoon, but I agree with him when he says the best man won (i.e. me).

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The disgraceful state of Wimbledon grass led to many early exits.

So, congratulations to him for putting up such a spirited fight, and congratulations to me for pulling out all the stops and astounding everyone.

While now is not the time to crow, it is worth remembering those who fell at an early stage during the competition and for the valuable contribution blah… blah… blah… they have made to the upper echelons of the tennis fraternity.

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Carlos Alcatraz still hasn’t come to terms with what hit him this year.

So, here we can remember the likes of Rafa (N), the Pole, Maria Sharapova and of course my mentor, leader and nemesis, Roger (F) – all as you can see at the peak of their physical prowess.

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Emma Raducanu is still smarting from the injury caused to her by the courts.

But holding the trophy aloft will stay in my memory for the rest of my life and I would like to finally thank you all, my supporters, my coach, my advocates and my enemies for the encouragement you have given me or the motivation which has spurred me on to prove you all wrong. This year’s Wimbledon has proven to me that anything is possible, with the right attitude, guts, determination, and fertile imagination.

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Victory is sweet: holding the Wimbledon Men’s Singles Championship trophy aloft.

My club, my tennis, my world, will never be the same again!

Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you.

Next year’s Wimbledon already beckons.

(You might like to know that you can follow Lord Andrew John Paul George Ringo Murray of Kirkintilloch’s journey to fame and infamy in  ‘Confessions of an Ageing Tennis Player’ .  You can see it here.

The Courting Lives of an Ageing Tennis Player: meet the creative team

“Tennis belongs to the individualistic past – a hero, or at most a pair of friends or lovers, against the world.”  (Jacques Barzun)

What we’re raising funds for

Having successfully published our first book, Confessions of an Ageing Tennis Player in 2021, we are now following this up with the book’s sequel, The Courting Lives of an Ageing Tennis Player,  which follows the trials and tribulations, the dreams and delusions of the central character, Lord Andrew John Paul George Ringo Murray of Kirkintilloch.

We’re building on the successful creative collaboration with our illustrator, Paul Warren, and further develop our audiences and readers and build a series of ‘Confessions’ books which simultaneously entertain and provoke audiences across the world.

One day, we’d like to see the books cross over to film or television: and we’d love it if you were part of that journey!

But we need financial support to turn our text and images into a professionally designed and produced high quality, full colour paperback book, utilising the services of our designers, Creative Triangle and their printing team.  Financial support will also enable us to promote the book to existing and new audiences and help catapault the books into an exciting new future!

If you’d like to invest in the project, please visit our Kickstarter crowdfunding page here.

There are plenty of rewards available, whether you want to invest just a fiver or push the boat out and name the launch of the book after yourself or your loved ones!

The Courting Lives of an Ageing Tennis Player: launching on 1 February 2022

We’re delighted to let you know that the creative team that bought you Confessions of an Ageing Tennis Player will be launching the sequel on 1 February!

Get ready for The Courting Lives of an Ageing Tennis Player!

Court Life: one trial, many tribulations

In which the youngest in society are taught that that if they have malice enough to set fire to people’s tennis rackets, headbands and shoes, then their own lives must pay the forfeit.