From: Nick Owen (Publisher)
To: All Staff
Time: 09:00
Subject: URGENT — Booker Debrief
Team,
Firstly, thank you for your passion and belief in ‘The Courting Lives of an Ageing Tennis Player’. While we didn’t technically win the Booker Prize, I’d argue we achieved something more valuable: visibility.
However, the Board (and my mother) would appreciate a brief internal reflection on how we might have positioned the book more ‘strategically’ next year. Please keep responses constructive and under 400 words.
Nick
From: Julian Pilkington‑Sterne (Marketing)
To: Nick, cc: All Staff
Time: 09:14
Subject: Re: Booker Debrief
Nick,
Firstly, what a night! The Guardian called the winner ‘genre‑defying’; I call ours ‘genre‑defining’. That’s a win in my book.
Possible factors influencing outcome:
1. Booker judges may not fully appreciate meta‑tennis allegory.
2. Our pre‑launch campaign (‘Love Means Nothing’) perhaps misread as nihilistic.
3. The ‘foam finger’ limited edition lacked gravitas.
Moving forward, we need experiential marketing. Picture it: a floating tennis court on the Serpentine. Guests rally while reading. We call it ‘The Serve of Consciousness.’
Yours in literature and lobs,
Julian
From: Eleanor Wheeler (Senior Editor)
To: Nick, Alex
Time: 09:46
Subject: Re: Booker Debrief
Nick,
Three reasons we didn’t win:
1. The judges read the book.
2. Julian designed the press pack in Comic Sans.
3. Our author thanked ‘the entire ATP’ in his acknowledgements.
Recommend next year’s submission be edited before, not after, longlisting.
E.
From: Paul Warren (Illustrator)
To: Eleanor (cc: Self)
Time: 10:02
Subject: Subject: Visual Post‑Mortem
Eleanor,
I’ve sketched ‘The Booker We Didn’t Win.’ It’s an empty lectern surrounded by hopeful stationery.
Would make a strong Christmas card.
Paul
From: Alex Moore (Operations)
To: Nick, Eleanor, Julian
Time: 11:08
Subject: Re: Booker Debrief
Colleagues,
While the Booker remains outside our operational remit, I note that last year’s submission budget (£3,500) was largely consumed by ‘Julian’s Concept Garlands.’
Next year we might consider:
– Allocating funds to postage rather than petals.
– Verifying eligibility dates before printing 500 bookmarks.
– Avoiding phrases like ‘The Djokovic of Fiction.’
Regards,
Alex
From: Clare Thompson (Reception)
To: All Staff
Time: 11:22
Subject: Re: Booker Debrief
Morning all,
A man in sunglasses dropped off a single tennis ball this morning with the note: ‘He deserved it more.’ It’s in the display case next to last year’s ‘regional commendation.’
If anyone wants tea, I’ve upgraded to Earl Grey. We’re clearly a grey‑area publisher now.
C.
From: Julian Pilkington‑Sterne (Marketing)
To: All Staff
Time: 12:03
Subject: Re: Booker Debrief
Just a thought: shall we release a Director’s Cut of the book? Slightly longer, same plot, heavier font?
I’m calling it ‘Confessions+’.
Julian
From: Eleanor Wheeler (Senior Editor)
To: Julian
Time: 12:05
Subject: Re: Confessions+
No.
E.
From: Nick Owen (Publisher)
To: All Staff
Time: 16:10
Subject: Re: Booker Debrief — Next Steps
Team,
Excellent reflections. Thank you. I propose a follow‑up session titled ‘Booker 2026: Beyond Failure.’ Julian will lead a motivational icebreaker (‘Second Serve Strategy’), and Paul will unveil his ‘Lamentation Sketches.’
Please bring ideas and biscuits.
Nick
From: Clare Thompson (Reception)
To: Alex Moore
Time: 18:45
Subject: Private: Diary Clash
Alex,
They’ve booked the same date as the Arts Council audit. I’m not saying divine intervention, but the diary just saved us all.
The Courting Lives of an Ageing Tennis Player
“Tennis belongs to the individualistic past – a hero, or at most a pair of friends or lovers, against the world.” (Jacques Barzun)
