Had lunch alone today (by choice). Spent the hour mapping out what I’m calling Project Serve & Verb™ i.e. the re-imagining of Confessions of An Ageing Tennis Player for the sonic age.
Phase 1: secure producer credit (through charm or proximity). Phase 2: negotiate subtle but frequent mentions of my name in behind-the-scenes materials. Phase 3: become the voice of Nick Owen Publishing — literally. Paul walked past while I was rehearsing the line “Love all, except when it hurts.” He didn’t comment. He just looked at me in that way illustrators do when they realise someone might soon be paid more than them. I must protect this idea. Also: check if HR can trademark my voice.
Confessions of an Ageing Tennis Player
“I don’t like your attitude!” snaps “Serena Williams” as we square up over the club’s dubious grass courts. But I am “Andy Murray”, the greatest tennis GOAT ever, no really I am and you “Serena” are blocking me from my ultimate goal: chairman of our local club.
‘Confessions’ is about a man of a certain age – Lord Andrew John Paul George Ringo Murray of Kirkintilloch – who lived out his tennis fantasies when he was young and never quite moved on as he grew up.
The first of a series, “Confessions of an Ageing Tennis Player” is the must-go-to illustrated comic guidebook about our dreams and our disappointments, our failures and our triumphs.
I overheard Nick on the phone this morning saying the words “audiobook rights.” He said them casually, as if he were asking for milk. I had to leave the office immediately and stand in the stairwell to breathe.
An audiobook changes everything. It’s not just a format — it’s an experience. And experiences are what I market best (I said that once at a conference in Milton Keynes).
I’m already picturing the campaign: “Hear the Sweat. Feel the Spin. Confess Differently.” Could I narrate it myself? My voice has range — somewhere between a BBC continuity announcer and emotional gravel.
Note to self: research microphones. And acting lessons.
Confessions of an Ageing Tennis Player
“I don’t like your attitude!” snaps “Serena Williams” as we square up over the club’s dubious grass courts. But I am “Andy Murray”, the greatest tennis GOAT ever, no really I am and you “Serena” are blocking me from my ultimate goal: chairman of our local club.
‘Confessions’ is about a man of a certain age – Lord Andrew John Paul George Ringo Murray of Kirkintilloch – who lived out his tennis fantasies when he was young and never quite moved on as he grew up.
The first of a series, “Confessions of an Ageing Tennis Player” is the must-go-to illustrated comic guidebook about our dreams and our disappointments, our failures and our triumphs.
“Speak in French when you can’t think of the English for a thing—turn out your toes as you walk—and remember who you are!” (The Red Queen, Alice through the Looking Glass).
Yes, you read it right: the sequel to the Confessions of an Ageing Tennis Player continues with the third in the series: The Norman Conquests of the Ageing Tennis Player, currently out on the Roland Garros practice courts in time for the French Open Grand Slam which plays out between 25 May and 8 June 2025.
The Confessions of an Ageing Tennis Player series tells the story of a man of a certain age – known to himself as “Lord Andrew John Paul George Ringo Murray of Kirkintilloch” – who moves seamlessly from sporting zero to hero and back again during Wimbledon in 2013 when Andy Murray was the first British male player to win there in decades. By the end of that story, he has not only become Sports Personality of the Year but also succeeded (he thinks) at being elected Chairman of his local tennis club. Buoyed by these immense achievements, he immediately continues his success by winning the Australian Open in Melbourne amongst much Covid-19 inspired delirium and thwarted love stories via The Courting Lives of an Ageing Tennis Player.
So what’s the next challenge in store for him? Well, the third in the ‘Confessions’ series, Les Conquêtes Normandes picks up from where Courting Lives left off and tracks the ongoing drama between him, ‘Serena Williams’ and ‘Phoebe Snetsinger’ in a race to see whether he can add to his Grand Slam trophy haul before he loses all grip on reality.
Illustrated by Paul Warren, Les Conquêtes Normandes d’un Tennisman Vieillissant will be available on 8 June 2025.
The Courting Lives of an Ageing Tennis Player
“Tennis belongs to the individualistic past – a hero, or at most a pair of friends or lovers, against the world.” (Jacques Barzun)
Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you all. I can’t believe that this afternoon has ended in such a thrilling style, with so many decisive moments, nerve tingling decisions, and life changing choices.
Novak Djokovic thinking he’s got this one sorted.
Novi was an incredible opponent this afternoon, but I agree with him when he says the best man won (i.e. me).
The disgraceful state of Wimbledon grass led to many early exits.
So, congratulations to him for putting up such a spirited fight, and congratulations to me for pulling out all the stops and astounding everyone.
While now is not the time to crow, it is worth remembering those who fell at an early stage during the competition and for the valuable contribution blah… blah… blah… they have made to the upper echelons of the tennis fraternity.
Carlos Alcatraz still hasn’t come to terms with what hit him this year.
So, here we can remember the likes of Rafa (N), the Pole, Maria Sharapova and of course my mentor, leader and nemesis, Roger (F) – all as you can see at the peak of their physical prowess.
Emma Raducanu is still smarting from the injury caused to her by the courts.
But holding the trophy aloft will stay in my memory for the rest of my life and I would like to finally thank you all, my supporters, my coach, my advocates and my enemies for the encouragement you have given me or the motivation which has spurred me on to prove you all wrong. This year’s Wimbledon has proven to me that anything is possible, with the right attitude, guts, determination, and fertile imagination.
Victory is sweet: holding the Wimbledon Men’s Singles Championship trophy aloft.
My club, my tennis, my world, will never be the same again!
Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you.
Next year’s Wimbledon already beckons.
(You might like to know that you can follow Lord Andrew John Paul George Ringo Murray of Kirkintilloch’s journey to fame and infamy in ‘Confessions of an Ageing Tennis Player’ . You can see it here.
Confessions of an Ageing Tennis Player
“I don’t like your attitude!” snaps “Serena Williams” as we square up over the club’s dubious grass courts. But I am “Andy Murray”, the greatest tennis GOAT ever, no really I am and you “Serena” are blocking me from my ultimate goal: chairman of our local club.
‘Confessions’ is about a man of a certain age – Lord Andrew John Paul George Ringo Murray of Kirkintilloch – who lived out his tennis fantasies when he was young and never quite moved on as he grew up.
The first of a series, “Confessions of an Ageing Tennis Player” is the must-go-to illustrated comic guidebook about our dreams and our disappointments, our failures and our triumphs.
“Tennis belongs to the individualistic past – a hero, or at most a pair of friends or lovers, against the world.” (Jacques Barzun)
What we’re raising funds for
Having successfully published our first book, Confessions of an Ageing Tennis Player in 2021, we are now following this up with the book’s sequel, The Courting Lives of an Ageing Tennis Player, which follows the trials and tribulations, the dreams and delusions of the central character, Lord Andrew John Paul George Ringo Murray of Kirkintilloch.
We’re building on the successful creative collaboration with our illustrator, Paul Warren, and further develop our audiences and readers and build a series of ‘Confessions’ books which simultaneously entertain and provoke audiences across the world.
One day, we’d like to see the books cross over to film or television: and we’d love it if you were part of that journey!
But we need financial support to turn our text and images into a professionally designed and produced high quality, full colour paperback book, utilising the services of our designers, Creative Triangle and their printing team. Financial support will also enable us to promote the book to existing and new audiences and help catapault the books into an exciting new future!
There are plenty of rewards available, whether you want to invest just a fiver or push the boat out and name the launch of the book after yourself or your loved ones!
