Tag: Black Friday discount

Julian Writes:Audiobook, here I come!

Have spent the weekend recording “test reads” in my wardrobe using my phone and a towel. It’s going well, though Siri keeps interrupting.

In my final take I whispered:

“Confession isn’t weakness — it’s marketing with honesty.”

It gave me goosebumps.

If this goes right, I’ll make sure the series becomes a whole audio universe.
The Courting Lives of an Ageing Tennis Player: The Podcast. The Soundtrack. The Brand.

If this goes wrong, I’ll tell Nick it was a focus-group experiment.
Either way, the voice of NOP is coming.
And it might just be me.

Confessions of an Ageing Tennis Player

Confessions of an Ageing Tennis Player

“I don’t like your attitude!” snaps “Serena Williams” as we square up over the club’s dubious grass courts. But I am “Andy Murray”, the greatest tennis GOAT ever, no really I am and you “Serena” are blocking me from my ultimate goal: chairman of our local club.

‘Confessions’ is about a man of a certain age – Lord Andrew John Paul George Ringo Murray of Kirkintilloch – who lived out his tennis fantasies when he was young and never quite moved on as he grew up.

The first of a series, “Confessions of an Ageing Tennis Player” is the must-go-to illustrated comic guidebook about our dreams and our disappointments, our failures and our triumphs.

£12.99
Shop now

Julian Writes: third slightly tentative steps to my Audiobook Ambitions

Woke at dawn with a vision. Not of Nick, but of the soundtrack.

Imagine the ball hitting the net in slow motion, followed by a deep cello note and a whispered confession:

“I was always better at losing gracefully.”

Then my voice (or a fades in, narrating over ambient crowd noise.
It’s not just an audiobook — it’s cinematic intimacy.

Sent a 1,200-word email draft titled “Sonic Futures: Aural Brand Synergies” to myself.
Will forward to Nick once I’ve removed the parts where I refer to myself as “the oracle of audio.”

Confessions of an Ageing Tennis Player

Confessions of an Ageing Tennis Player

“I don’t like your attitude!” snaps “Serena Williams” as we square up over the club’s dubious grass courts. But I am “Andy Murray”, the greatest tennis GOAT ever, no really I am and you “Serena” are blocking me from my ultimate goal: chairman of our local club.

‘Confessions’ is about a man of a certain age – Lord Andrew John Paul George Ringo Murray of Kirkintilloch – who lived out his tennis fantasies when he was young and never quite moved on as he grew up.

The first of a series, “Confessions of an Ageing Tennis Player” is the must-go-to illustrated comic guidebook about our dreams and our disappointments, our failures and our triumphs.

£12.99
Shop now

Julian Writes: second tentative steps to my Audiobook Ambitions

Home late after a “strategy chat” with Eleanor in the pub. She says audiobooks are “performative literature,” which I think was meant kindly but sounded like a warning.
I told her I’d volunteer to “consult” on the voice direction, i.e.select the narrator. She raised an eyebrow and asked if I knew any voice actors. I said I was network-adjacent to several. (Translation: I follow Stephen Fry on X.)
In my notes app I’ve drafted:
Julian Pilkington-Sterne: The Sound of Modern Literature™
It’s ambitious, yes. But ambition is a transferable skill.

Confessions of an Ageing Tennis Player

Confessions of an Ageing Tennis Player

“I don’t like your attitude!” snaps “Serena Williams” as we square up over the club’s dubious grass courts. But I am “Andy Murray”, the greatest tennis GOAT ever, no really I am and you “Serena” are blocking me from my ultimate goal: chairman of our local club.

‘Confessions’ is about a man of a certain age – Lord Andrew John Paul George Ringo Murray of Kirkintilloch – who lived out his tennis fantasies when he was young and never quite moved on as he grew up.

The first of a series, “Confessions of an Ageing Tennis Player” is the must-go-to illustrated comic guidebook about our dreams and our disappointments, our failures and our triumphs.

£12.99
Shop now

Julian Writes: first tentative steps to my Audiobook Ambitions

Had lunch alone today (by choice). Spent the hour mapping out what I’m calling Project Serve & Verb™ i.e. the re-imagining of Confessions of An Ageing Tennis Player for the sonic age.

Phase 1: secure producer credit (through charm or proximity).
Phase 2: negotiate subtle but frequent mentions of my name in behind-the-scenes materials.
Phase 3: become the voice of Nick Owen Publishing — literally.
Paul walked past while I was rehearsing the line “Love all, except when it hurts.”
He didn’t comment. He just looked at me in that way illustrators do when they realise someone might soon be paid more than them.
I must protect this idea.
Also: check if HR can trademark my voice.

Confessions of an Ageing Tennis Player

Confessions of an Ageing Tennis Player

“I don’t like your attitude!” snaps “Serena Williams” as we square up over the club’s dubious grass courts. But I am “Andy Murray”, the greatest tennis GOAT ever, no really I am and you “Serena” are blocking me from my ultimate goal: chairman of our local club.

‘Confessions’ is about a man of a certain age – Lord Andrew John Paul George Ringo Murray of Kirkintilloch – who lived out his tennis fantasies when he was young and never quite moved on as he grew up.

The first of a series, “Confessions of an Ageing Tennis Player” is the must-go-to illustrated comic guidebook about our dreams and our disappointments, our failures and our triumphs.

£12.99
Shop now

Julian Writes: the Audiobook as my Journey to Personal Salvation

I overheard Nick on the phone this morning saying the words “audiobook rights.” He said them casually, as if he were asking for milk. I had to leave the office immediately and stand in the stairwell to breathe.

An audiobook changes everything. It’s not just a format — it’s an experience. And experiences are what I market best (I said that once at a conference in Milton Keynes).

I’m already picturing the campaign: “Hear the Sweat. Feel the Spin. Confess Differently.” Could I narrate it myself? My voice has range — somewhere between a BBC continuity announcer and emotional gravel.

Note to self: research microphones. And acting lessons.

Confessions of an Ageing Tennis Player

Confessions of an Ageing Tennis Player

“I don’t like your attitude!” snaps “Serena Williams” as we square up over the club’s dubious grass courts. But I am “Andy Murray”, the greatest tennis GOAT ever, no really I am and you “Serena” are blocking me from my ultimate goal: chairman of our local club.

‘Confessions’ is about a man of a certain age – Lord Andrew John Paul George Ringo Murray of Kirkintilloch – who lived out his tennis fantasies when he was young and never quite moved on as he grew up.

The first of a series, “Confessions of an Ageing Tennis Player” is the must-go-to illustrated comic guidebook about our dreams and our disappointments, our failures and our triumphs.

£12.99
Shop now